The Art of the Two-Minute Pickup

Now before you get too excited, when I say two-minute pickup, I don't mean I can help you get a date or a phone number in less than one hundred and twenty seconds. Though I have pulled that mean feat off a few times.

What I am talking about, is a quick two-minute solution, that if used a few times a day, can help you get on top of the madness that is your everyday life.

What do you do on days when you are especially rushed? If you are like me and many others, you double your speed, you skim from one event to the next, and you take shortcuts. But ask yourself... does it really work?

Sometimes yes, but in the long term it actually creates more problems. Why you ask? Because it generally leaves a trail of unfinished tasks lingering behind you, including dozens of 'quick' emails and voice messages to return, half-opened mail and a bunch of to-dos to follow up on, all of which nibble at your peace of mind.

So let me introduce you to the art of the two-minute pickup. Two-minute pickups are tasks that are too short to write on a to-do list but that slow the pace of your life when they are ignored too long.

Here are a few two-minute solutions to help you save time at home:

• Load the dishwasher as soon as the meal is done.
• Water a plant as you come in the door.
• Pay a bill as soon as you read it.
• Renew a prescription as soon as you realise it is coming up.
• RSVP to an event when the invite comes in.
• Program a mobile number into your phone.
• Create an email mailing list for a group you regularly contact.
• Fold the laundry as it comes out of the dryer or off the line.

Do a few of these each day, and you just may save enough time to sit down for a cup of coffee and watch the sun set! A two-minute solution for a recurring task saves ten minutes every time thereafter. You could save five hours a month or sixty hours in one year - all in exchange for a short two-minute investment.

Simple right? Give it a try. What two-minute pick up are you going to master today?

Where Did These Attitudes Come From?

Following on from my last post about what makes your bad habits tick, today I will look at the mentality behind each of the attitudes listed, and a simple suggestion on where to start looking and reflecting about yourself, so that you can deal with the cause, and start opening yourself up to the possibility of healthy changes.

'I'm the way I am, and that's that.'

On the surface, this might seem like a very convenient attitude. You will not have to change, and others can either like it or leave it. It could end up making you a lonely person though, if others decide they would rather leave it than put up with it.

Start thinking about where you have learnt to believe that change is impossible, and then open your mind about it.

'I'm probably too stupid to change my habit.'

'Nothing I do can ever be good enough.'

'My self-criticisms are mostly justified.'

Each of these attitudes are learnt responses. No child thinks that they are too stupid, without first having been told or shown that they are not good enough.

Start thinking about the origins of your self-criticism. At what point did you learn to believe that you are not good enough?

'It's self indulgent to want to be happier.'

There is no point in constantly bemoaning your fate. That does not mean it is self-indulgent to look at and change what is making you unhappy in life. Your own happiness should be all-important if you want to make others happy, so working on your own contentment is actually very altruistic.

Start thinking about where you learnt to believe that your feelings do not count.

'Life is hard.'

'I am an unlucky person. Always have been. Always will be.'

'There's no point in me trying to change anything. It won't make a difference.'

These are all sweeping statements that often lack observation. Chances are when you look at your life, you will be able to find memories of times when life was easier and when things went well for you.

Start thinking where it was that you learnt to believe that you have no control over your life.

'I need to be hard on myself or I won't do anything right.'

'If I can only change by getting someone to help me, it doesn't count.'

Where does this regime of self-punishement come from? It is likely a learnt behaviour of over-strict parents, teachers or other adults. Alternatively, it may also be the consequence of a past failure or shortcoming.

Start thinking where you learnt to believe that you need to make up for a past failure or shortcoming.

'I'm too frightened to consider changing myself and my habits.'

Fears can be based on facts or they can exist only in your mind. If you were shouted down the last time you uttered a dissenting view to your partner, that is a fact. If you are afraid you left the iron on and check it numerous times before you leave the house every day, then your fear is irrational.

Start thinking whether or not there is a factual basis to your fear.

'When others give me a hard time, it's because I deserve it.'

'Other people can change, but I can't.'

Where does this glorification of others come from? Why are others better than you? Why are they always right? This is a child's belief in which adults are high up on a pedestal. Remember thought, that the great are only great because we are on our knees.

Start thinking about what fears stop you from taking charge of your life.

'I don't deserve to be happier.'

If all the other statements are unhelpful, this one is the biggest and most destructive one. It comes from a sense of deep self-loathing and possibly depression.

Start thinking where you learnt to believe so strongly that you are worthless.

You may notice that the 'start thinking' advice askes you to reflect on where you learnt to believe a particular thing. This is because many of the beliefs we hold today about ourselves or the world around us were initiated by past experiences, sometimes going back as far as childhood.

No matter where the origins of your problematic habit lie, you will benefit from first identifiying the cause and then from developing new personal resources. These can help you change the detrimental petterns that were established through an emotional link with past events or present unhappy relationships or circumstances.





What Makes Your Bad Habits Tick?

Sticking to the theme of goals and kicking bad habits this week, let us consider the mental processes behind bad habits and change. Stop and consider one bad habit that you currently have.

Chances are you are pretty anoyed about yourself and your inability to stop doing or start doing a particular thing. You probably feel like a sad failure and are likely to give yourself a hard time about it. But blaming yoruself or others is neither constructive nor will it get results. Quite the opposite, the more you put yourself under pressure, the less likely it is that you will gain control over your habit.

If you feel trapped by your habit, you need to take a good look at yourself to see what you are doing or not doing to contribute to it. Sometimes the simple fear of finding out something truly awful about ourselves stops us from looking closely at who we are. When we finally overcome our reluctance and examine our underlying motives for doing or not doing something, it can be surprising to discover the human and quite understandable reasons behind the issue.

The way people approach their problems can vary greatly from person to person. Whether you are successful in building up a good new habit or not will largely depend on your personal outlook. The right attitude can really move mountains! What you believe to be true will determine how you deal with life and how you deal with the challenges you face. However you also have to realise, that just because you believe something to be true, it does not mean thant it really is true.

Have a look at the following questions to find out what your attitude is. Give yourself one point for every time you agree with a statement.

QUESTIONNAIRE

• Life is hard.
• I need ot be hard on myself or I won't do anything right.
• I'm the way I am, and that's that.
• I'm probably too stupid to change my problem habit.
• It is self-indulgent to want to be happier.
• My self-criticisms are mostly justified.
• Nothing I do can ever be good enough.
• When others give me a hard time, it's because I deserve it.
• I am an unlucky person. Always have been. Always will be.
• Other people can change, but I can't.
• There's no point in trying to change anything. It won't make a difference.
• If I only change by getting someone to help me, it doesn't count.
• I'm too frightened to consider changing myself and my habits.
• I don't deserve to be happier.

How many points did you score? Anything between 1 and 14 points will hold you back from acheiving a successful change! Every one of the above statements is a block on the way towards a good result. If you have more than six blocks, they buld into a nice solid wall right in front of you, so it is worth a look at how you can change your attitude. Life can be a lot easier once you take a different view of things.

Now that we have a benchmark on any mental blocks you might have to changing habits, read through where these attitudes come from as I explore some of these mental blocks, and ways to change your thinking to start overcoming them!