See Past Your Beliefs

Did you know that there was a time when every person on the planet thought that the world was flat? That is you travelled to the end of the Earth, you would fall off the edge? Until Christopher Columbus proved otherwise, this was the common belief. He believed that if you did sail to 'the edge' you wouldn't fall off, but instead end up sailing back to where you started.

When Christopher Columbus declared that the world was round and not flat, no one believed what seemed like an utterly ridiculous statement because no ship had yet sailed to 'the edge' to prove his point. So why should they believe him? What proof did he have? History now records that Columbus not only broke one of the most widely held beliefs ever entertained by humans, and discovered another world in the process.

Or perhaps consider the Ancient Romans and Greeks, who tried for centuries to break the barrier of the four-minute mile. No one had ever run the mile in less than four minutes. It couldn't be done. They declared it 'humanely impossible'. The Romans even went so far as to have lions chase men to see if this would give them some extra motivation to move faster. Sadly for the human guinea pigs, this did not work or end so well.

The four minute barrier remained unbroken until Englishman named Roger Bannister decided he was going to do it. Bannister smashed the 'unbreakable' when on 6th May, 1954 when he ran the mile in 3 minutes 59.6 seconds. He was hailed as a hero and later received a knighthood. Whilst the breaking of the record was a fantastic feat, the reason I share this story with you is to tell you what happened afterwards, which is what I find even more fascinating.

After centuries of people trying to break the 'unbreakable' four-minute mile mark, as soon as one person proved it was possible, suddenly it became achievable for many. Over the next four years, more than forty people ran the mile in less than four minutes. The 'unbreakable' was not being broken quite regularly. Why? Because the belief had been changed: 'You can now run the mile in less than four minutes'. Permission granted!

As these two famous instances of belief-breaking show, what you believe you can do can severly hamper your progress at work and in your personal life - or it can help you to reach amazing goals.

In my next post, I'll explore some of the limiting beliefs we all face in our everyday lives, and what we can do to make sure they don't hold us back from pushing boundaries and being our very best.

'Get' Yourself

Do you 'get' you?

Do you get how great you really are?

As soon as you do, you are instantly bigger, taller, brighter, more full of yourself. I'm not talking about being conceited, I'm talking about having a healthly level of self-confidence. Giving yourself a bit of an ego boost and revelling in the awesomeness that is you.

I want you to make a list titled 'Reasons to feel immensely proud of myself'. Jot down three things that come to mind immediately. This list tells you how brilliant you already are, how clever, how accomplished, how downright brilliant. Unless you appreciate your worth and value in this way, it is hard for you to use it or make it work for you.

Think of it this way, it is like you have banked all these riches without making them grow or even buy anything useful. Go on. Impress yourself. Have a metaphorical growth spurt in less than five minutes. In our busy lives, especially at this busy time of year, it is easy to lose sight of who you are.

The key to more power is to appreciate your own value. Look at your list. I want you to make this list so good, so thorough that you swell with pride at the sight of yourself laid bare. Fill yourself up with respect. Rise up in your own estimation. Focus on that list every evening for a week. Slowly but surely, you will grow in stature each and every day.

Get into the habit of regular appreciation and admiration for yourself. I promise you, this isn't an indulgence. It is a way of looking at yourself that gives you access to your own power base. The stronger you are within, the more it shows on the outside. Your power and poise should be written all over you.

You are fabulous.

Go 'get' you!

Where Did These Attitudes Come From?

Following on from my last post about what makes your bad habits tick, today I will look at the mentality behind each of the attitudes listed, and a simple suggestion on where to start looking and reflecting about yourself, so that you can deal with the cause, and start opening yourself up to the possibility of healthy changes.

'I'm the way I am, and that's that.'

On the surface, this might seem like a very convenient attitude. You will not have to change, and others can either like it or leave it. It could end up making you a lonely person though, if others decide they would rather leave it than put up with it.

Start thinking about where you have learnt to believe that change is impossible, and then open your mind about it.

'I'm probably too stupid to change my habit.'

'Nothing I do can ever be good enough.'

'My self-criticisms are mostly justified.'

Each of these attitudes are learnt responses. No child thinks that they are too stupid, without first having been told or shown that they are not good enough.

Start thinking about the origins of your self-criticism. At what point did you learn to believe that you are not good enough?

'It's self indulgent to want to be happier.'

There is no point in constantly bemoaning your fate. That does not mean it is self-indulgent to look at and change what is making you unhappy in life. Your own happiness should be all-important if you want to make others happy, so working on your own contentment is actually very altruistic.

Start thinking about where you learnt to believe that your feelings do not count.

'Life is hard.'

'I am an unlucky person. Always have been. Always will be.'

'There's no point in me trying to change anything. It won't make a difference.'

These are all sweeping statements that often lack observation. Chances are when you look at your life, you will be able to find memories of times when life was easier and when things went well for you.

Start thinking where it was that you learnt to believe that you have no control over your life.

'I need to be hard on myself or I won't do anything right.'

'If I can only change by getting someone to help me, it doesn't count.'

Where does this regime of self-punishement come from? It is likely a learnt behaviour of over-strict parents, teachers or other adults. Alternatively, it may also be the consequence of a past failure or shortcoming.

Start thinking where you learnt to believe that you need to make up for a past failure or shortcoming.

'I'm too frightened to consider changing myself and my habits.'

Fears can be based on facts or they can exist only in your mind. If you were shouted down the last time you uttered a dissenting view to your partner, that is a fact. If you are afraid you left the iron on and check it numerous times before you leave the house every day, then your fear is irrational.

Start thinking whether or not there is a factual basis to your fear.

'When others give me a hard time, it's because I deserve it.'

'Other people can change, but I can't.'

Where does this glorification of others come from? Why are others better than you? Why are they always right? This is a child's belief in which adults are high up on a pedestal. Remember thought, that the great are only great because we are on our knees.

Start thinking about what fears stop you from taking charge of your life.

'I don't deserve to be happier.'

If all the other statements are unhelpful, this one is the biggest and most destructive one. It comes from a sense of deep self-loathing and possibly depression.

Start thinking where you learnt to believe so strongly that you are worthless.

You may notice that the 'start thinking' advice askes you to reflect on where you learnt to believe a particular thing. This is because many of the beliefs we hold today about ourselves or the world around us were initiated by past experiences, sometimes going back as far as childhood.

No matter where the origins of your problematic habit lie, you will benefit from first identifiying the cause and then from developing new personal resources. These can help you change the detrimental petterns that were established through an emotional link with past events or present unhappy relationships or circumstances.





Take 100% Responsibility For Your Life

Some time ago, my mother handed me a book that very well might be the key to personal success. In typical Krissie-fashion, life got in the way and leisure reading fell way off my radar. Today I finally decided to get stuck into it. The book is written by Jack Canfield, one of the creators of the Chicken Soup for the Soul. The book is aptly titled "The Success Priniciples"

According to Mr Canfield, the biggest myth in today's society is that we are not entitled to a great life and that somehow, somewhere, someone is responsible for filling our lives with continual happiness, nurturing family time, exciting career options, blissful personal relationships - all simply because we exist.

He argues that the real truth, is that there is only one person responsible for the quality of life you live, and that person is you.

This means that if you want to be successful, you have to take 100% responsibility for everything that you experience in your life. This includes the results you produce, the level of your acheivements, the state of your health and physical fitness, the quality of your relationships, your income, your debts, your feelings - absolutely everything!

This is not an easy idea to wrap one's head around, let alone to actually do. In our society, most of us have been conditioned to blame something outside of ourselves for the parts of our life we don't like. We blame our parents, our partners, our friends, our bosses, our colleagues, our clients, the media, the weather, the economy, our lack of money, our astrological chart - anyone or anything we can pin the blame on.

We never want to look at where the real problem is - ourselves.

In a year that has been primarily a journey of self-discovery as I pushed my boundaries, lived overseas, met new kinds of people from all walks of life, and spent some serious time reflecting on my life and who I truly am, I really wish I had read this book before I began. Just the opening chapter has me considering my situation in a totally different, brutally honest and open way.

As of this morning, I have written a list of the things about my life I don't like. I have selected five of them to start actively changing from RIGHT NOW and have developed a plan of attack to make it happen. Every week I am setting myself a set of goals and challenges to acheive in that seven day stretch to start proactively working towards the life I really want. At the end of each week, I will review and reset the goals for the following week.

I am excited. I am done making excuses and letting stuff slide. I don't like everything about the status quo that is my current life, so I am mixing it up and making things happen. External forces are no longer a factor.

 My success comes down to one thing... ME!

What Kind Of Person ARE You?

2011 has not been the year I was expecting to have.  2011 has been a year of many unplanned adventures.

• If someone had told me that I would spend just over half the year without having a regular day job, I would have laughed.
• If someone had told me I'd go on a life changing journey of self-discovery, I would have laughed.
• If someone had told me I'd have a summer romance on the other side of the world like my mom and friends had told me I would, I would have laughed.
• If someone had told me that I would spend more time volunteering and running charity events than working in paid roles, I would have... no... actually... that I would have believed.

So when brainstorming what I wanted to do for my birthday this year, I decided that I wanted to do a bunch of random acts of kindness and invite others to join me. I told my Mom that I was going to do a 'Smile Corner' - get some friends, stand on the corners of an intersections holding big signs that say "Smile" or "Smile Please" or "It's My Birthday - Give Me A Smile" - and Mom just told me that I was a bit strange.

Later that day, Mom comes home and tells me that one of the girls who lives on our street was on the phone in her front yard (gotta love bad reception in the house at a time like this) in the middle of a very emotional breakup. She asked if I would make a sign that asked "Do You Need A Hug?" and go out and be there for the young lady. I rushed around to find a piece of paper and a texta, made the sign and ran outside. The girl had already gone back into her house. Sigh. Oh well - it is the thought that counts right?

Comparing the two situations made me curious though. Why would my mother find me wanting to make strangers in traffic smile strange, but know that I would happily leap to the hugging aid of a neighbour (whom I have never met) in distress? So I asked her - and she said its because hugging someone in need is intrinsically human, and making people smile is more superficial. On some level I agree with her, but it made me reflect on the kind of person I am.

I am the kind of person who lives to make others smile. Given the opportunity to have a more profound impact on someone than just making them smile, of course I would take it. I often do. But I also do not take the small stuff for granted. If all I can do for a person is put a smile on their face, however fleeting, then I am going to do it, because every smile counts.

Stop for a moment.

Reflect.

What is your personal truth?

What kind of person are you?

If you like the answer you give yourself, then embrace it.

If you don't, then change it.

If you cannot answer it for yourself, then ask someone else.

What kind of person are you?

If You Were Waiting For A Sign...

Ever put something important off?

Ever put something not so important but still necessary off?

It is a dirty word in my house, but procrastination can be a silent killer.

It is rare for procrastination to lead to a loss of life, but it is quite common for procrastination to lead to the death of a dream. People are always 'waiting for the right time', 'I'll be starting tomorrow', 'getting to it soon' or 'planning it out' - basically doing anything other than actively working towards their dream right now.

We are all guilty of it. We all put things off. Some of us more than others (you know who you are). So I ask you - what are you waiting for? Reflect on what it is you want from life, and take a small but meaningful step towards it.

Got dreams?

Then go for it already!

A Notion That Should Stop The Nation

Well here we are. Melbourne Cup Day.

A day when millions of people who normally do not care one little bit for horses, racing or betting stop and participate in an Australian tradition.

On a day where most of the nation stops to watch the Melbourne Cup, a lot of people are wishing/hoping/praying that they 'pick a winner'. What I'd like to suggest is that every one of you is capable of backing the REAL winner today... yourself.

I find it such a waste that people are willing to throw their money behind a horse, their opinions behind a political party, their support behind their friends, but are so unwilling to back themselves with a little faith when it counts.

Is there something that you want to take a stand on? A cause you want to champion? Something you want to do but never gave yourself the opportunity? Well I say this - place a bet on yourself and give yourself the chance to do something great! You'd be surprised what you are capable of!