What Makes Your Bad Habits Tick?

Sticking to the theme of goals and kicking bad habits this week, let us consider the mental processes behind bad habits and change. Stop and consider one bad habit that you currently have.

Chances are you are pretty anoyed about yourself and your inability to stop doing or start doing a particular thing. You probably feel like a sad failure and are likely to give yourself a hard time about it. But blaming yoruself or others is neither constructive nor will it get results. Quite the opposite, the more you put yourself under pressure, the less likely it is that you will gain control over your habit.

If you feel trapped by your habit, you need to take a good look at yourself to see what you are doing or not doing to contribute to it. Sometimes the simple fear of finding out something truly awful about ourselves stops us from looking closely at who we are. When we finally overcome our reluctance and examine our underlying motives for doing or not doing something, it can be surprising to discover the human and quite understandable reasons behind the issue.

The way people approach their problems can vary greatly from person to person. Whether you are successful in building up a good new habit or not will largely depend on your personal outlook. The right attitude can really move mountains! What you believe to be true will determine how you deal with life and how you deal with the challenges you face. However you also have to realise, that just because you believe something to be true, it does not mean thant it really is true.

Have a look at the following questions to find out what your attitude is. Give yourself one point for every time you agree with a statement.

QUESTIONNAIRE

• Life is hard.
• I need ot be hard on myself or I won't do anything right.
• I'm the way I am, and that's that.
• I'm probably too stupid to change my problem habit.
• It is self-indulgent to want to be happier.
• My self-criticisms are mostly justified.
• Nothing I do can ever be good enough.
• When others give me a hard time, it's because I deserve it.
• I am an unlucky person. Always have been. Always will be.
• Other people can change, but I can't.
• There's no point in trying to change anything. It won't make a difference.
• If I only change by getting someone to help me, it doesn't count.
• I'm too frightened to consider changing myself and my habits.
• I don't deserve to be happier.

How many points did you score? Anything between 1 and 14 points will hold you back from acheiving a successful change! Every one of the above statements is a block on the way towards a good result. If you have more than six blocks, they buld into a nice solid wall right in front of you, so it is worth a look at how you can change your attitude. Life can be a lot easier once you take a different view of things.

Now that we have a benchmark on any mental blocks you might have to changing habits, read through where these attitudes come from as I explore some of these mental blocks, and ways to change your thinking to start overcoming them!

Change A Habit, Change Your Life

Here I am are, a week after I decided to step up and take responsibility for all the aspects of my life. I had picked out all the things I wanted to change in my everyday life, and determined new time-saving habits to put in place. There were ten tasks I put in place to acheive each day. I am a self-professed statistics nerd, so I made a chart to tally up my level of success.

I'll be honest, week one wasn't great. I only achieved 55 points out of a possible 100 points. For a first attempt, that was not too bad. I did manage to go cold turkey of playing computer card games (my addiction to FreeCell and Vegas Solitaire was eating up a chunk of time every week) and get the ball rolling on some new habits.

A wise woman once told me that you will change when your desire to change is greater than your desire to remain the same. It comes down to despising the pain more than effort to make the change. If you are not already at that point, then take a little time to revel in the muck that is your current bad habit, so that you can truly appreciate the value of breaking out of it.

It is unrealistic to expect to be able to change a bunch of habits at once. Professional organiser Marcia Ramsland suggests that you cannot do it all at once. She recommends breaking one habit at a time.

Anything that is measurable is changeable. Studies show that realistically it takes twenty-one times to change a habit. Pick one daily habit you would like to change. Start by creating a chart with a spot for each one of the twenty-one days.

When looking at the anatomy of the rule of twenty-one, four levels start to appear during the process of creating a new habit:

1-4 times of doing a task

"I could do it if I just tried harder."

Then old habits kick in with time pressures and stress. The trick is to keep going anyway.

5-10 times of doing a task 

"I recognise the obstacles to doing it successfully."

Then the old habits kick in again and you start to feel like a failure. Just keep going.

11-15 times of doing a task

"I need to revisit my desired goal and focus on success."

Old habits will still try to thwart you, but now you are determined to persist. Keep going.

16-21 times of doing a task

"The goal is in sight. I know why I want it. It is worth pushing through to success."

You did it! Celebrate and enjoy your new habit.

By charting your progress, you can see the measured improvements you make which will help you move towards your goals. For example, you might set yourself the challenge of exercising for 10 hours a week. Every day, focus on doing something towards that goal. Anything will do. But you must doing something towards it.

If you look at the levels of habit changing above - the key along each step of the way is always keeping going. If you keep pushing through it, you should see improvements each week. If you take a backwards step, forgive yourself, remind yourself why you want the change, and then keep marching towards your goal.

If you get there in your 21 days - congratulations! If not, keep pushing! Once you've reached your target, do it another twenty-one times to ensure permanent success. The best way to maintain a new habit is to strive for a "no-exceptions policy." Keep at it every day!

Motivation is what gets you started.

Habit is what keeps you going.

~ Jim Rohn

The Truth Behind Smiles

Smiling.

We're born to do it.

A smile is one of the most basic, biologically uniform expressions of all humans.

One of the world’s leading expert on facial expressions Paul Ekman, discovered that smiles are cross-cultural and have the same meaning in different societies. In studies he conducted in Papua New Guinea, Ekman found that members of the Fore tribe (who were completely disconnected from Western culture and were also known for their unusual cannibalism rituals) attributed smiles to descriptions of situations in the same way you and I would.

3-D ultrasound technology shows that developing babies appear to smile even in the womb. After they’re born, babies continue to smile and even blind babies smile in response to the sound of the human voice.

The mood-boosting power of a smile is unfathomable. Studies show that one smile can can provide the same level of brain stimulation as up to 2,000 chocolate bars. Yet, unlike lots of chocolate, lots of smiling can actually make you healthier. This is great new for me, partly because I am not a fan of chocolate at all, but mostly because I smile so much that it is nice to hear it makes me healthier! =)

So what are you waiting for? Get your smile on already!

Splash for Cash - Official Lap Sponsors - Pledge Here!

Pushed to the limits for my favourite charity event!

Anyone who knows me knows I live and breath Splash for Cash - a swimathon that raises money for the Royal Institute for Deaf and Blind Children that is hosted by Rotaract. Every year I challenge myself both in the pool and in my fundraising!

It should be noted that when I started training for my first Splash, I could barely swim 150 metres...

KRISSIE'S SPLASH SWIMMING RECORD

2006... 154 laps (7.7km)
2007... 260 laps (13km)
2008... 277 laps (13.85 km)
2009... 310 laps(15.5km)
2010... 342 laps (17.1km)
2011... 100 laps BLINDFOLDED! (5km)
2012... 442 LAP GOAL! (22.1km)

I am already in heavy training. By Splash day, I will have swum over 200 kilometres in training!

To keep me motivated this year - pick a number between 1 & 442 for every $10 you donate,

and you will be an official sponsor of that lap. 

Just comment on this post with the lap numbers you would like to sponsor at $10 each.

To see the list of current pledges, click on the Charity Challenge tab at the top of my blog.

To fulfil your pledge, visit http://event.splashforcash.com.au/krissie2012 to pay up! Preferably pay now, but you can pay later (I swim in March, 2012).

Interested in swimming? Visit http://www.splashforcash.com.au/ for more information!

So get behind my 2012 Splash for Cash campaign for glory for my favourite charity the Royal Institute for Deaf and Blind Children!

Thanks a million for your support!

Love y'all!

Krissie

Take Control Of Your Life

As I discussed on Monday, if we want to be truly successful, we have to take 100% responsibility for our lives. For the past three days, I have been trying to do just that and I would say I have only been moderately successful. I have acheived about 75% of the daily goals I had set out for myself. I honestly thought I would be able to do 90% - 100% of them though.

Upon reflection, the tasks I missed were ones where I let old habits get in the way, or I simply forgot to look at my list and make sure I did everything on there. The key word is 'I'.

I forgot. I let. I. I. I.

That in itself is a breakthrough. The things that did not happen the way I intended I immediately acknowledge as my fault. A week ago, I would have blamed my family for changing the schedule, the rain and who knows what else. But I automatically recognised that the things I missed were completely within my control.

We all have restrictions in our lives.

But, equally, we all have vast areas on untested capacity:

to make decisions, to plan our future,

to follow our paths.

It's easy to blame others for our inaction.

It's easy to blame our constraints.

Take the initiative.

Take control.

Decide your own journey.

So whilst I may not be running at 100% success rate yet, I am laying the responsibility in the right place... with myself! I consider this a major step in the right direction. Onwards and upwards!

Take 100% Responsibility For Your Life

Some time ago, my mother handed me a book that very well might be the key to personal success. In typical Krissie-fashion, life got in the way and leisure reading fell way off my radar. Today I finally decided to get stuck into it. The book is written by Jack Canfield, one of the creators of the Chicken Soup for the Soul. The book is aptly titled "The Success Priniciples"

According to Mr Canfield, the biggest myth in today's society is that we are not entitled to a great life and that somehow, somewhere, someone is responsible for filling our lives with continual happiness, nurturing family time, exciting career options, blissful personal relationships - all simply because we exist.

He argues that the real truth, is that there is only one person responsible for the quality of life you live, and that person is you.

This means that if you want to be successful, you have to take 100% responsibility for everything that you experience in your life. This includes the results you produce, the level of your acheivements, the state of your health and physical fitness, the quality of your relationships, your income, your debts, your feelings - absolutely everything!

This is not an easy idea to wrap one's head around, let alone to actually do. In our society, most of us have been conditioned to blame something outside of ourselves for the parts of our life we don't like. We blame our parents, our partners, our friends, our bosses, our colleagues, our clients, the media, the weather, the economy, our lack of money, our astrological chart - anyone or anything we can pin the blame on.

We never want to look at where the real problem is - ourselves.

In a year that has been primarily a journey of self-discovery as I pushed my boundaries, lived overseas, met new kinds of people from all walks of life, and spent some serious time reflecting on my life and who I truly am, I really wish I had read this book before I began. Just the opening chapter has me considering my situation in a totally different, brutally honest and open way.

As of this morning, I have written a list of the things about my life I don't like. I have selected five of them to start actively changing from RIGHT NOW and have developed a plan of attack to make it happen. Every week I am setting myself a set of goals and challenges to acheive in that seven day stretch to start proactively working towards the life I really want. At the end of each week, I will review and reset the goals for the following week.

I am excited. I am done making excuses and letting stuff slide. I don't like everything about the status quo that is my current life, so I am mixing it up and making things happen. External forces are no longer a factor.

 My success comes down to one thing... ME!

When You No Longer Need Your Organs, Who Gets Them?

At the Australian Rotaract Conference in Melbourne earlier this year, I was privileged to be in the room to hear Allan Turner, founder of Zaidee's Rainbow Foundation, share his heartfelt story.

His daughter Zaidee – aged 7 years died suddenly in 2004 from a burst blood vessel in her brain. At the time of Zaidee’s death the Turner family had been registered Organ and Tissue Donors for 5 years. As a result Zaidee donated her Organs and Tissues at the Royal Children’s Hospital, as were her wishes at the time. From this gift, the lives of up to seven other people were improved or saved. She was only 1 of 6 children nationally to donate their organs.

Listening to Allan talk about his journey since losing his daughter - a journey of hope as they run a foundation aimed at inspiring discussion about organ and tissue donation - it reminded me that it is not enough to just be a donor. Your family needs to know your wishes as well. Many donors' organs are not used, because their families did not know their choice, and when under the gun in a situation where they are about to lose a loved one, they chose not to give their organs.

Zaidee’s gift of her organs to others will allow them to have another birthday. 1 in 5 people on the transplant waiting list will never get the chance to have another birthday if people do not become registered donors.

In 2004, 130,000 Australians died. Only 218 were Organ Donors whose families also knew their wishes.

Now is the time to become an organ donor.

Some see it as giving part of themselves

so another can live.

Others see it as another allowing you to live on.

Whatever way you see it,

it's your chance to make a difference to another human.

There is no greater gift.

Make sure you tell your loved ones of your decision.

Ask them to honour it.

Think about giving this gift to others so they can live a better life and in some cases, have a second chance at life. Once you've made your choice, discuss it with your family. I am an organ and tissue donor, and my whole family knows about it. What about you?

'You give but little when you give of your possessions.

It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.'

Kahlil Gibran

What Kind Of Person ARE You?

2011 has not been the year I was expecting to have.  2011 has been a year of many unplanned adventures.

• If someone had told me that I would spend just over half the year without having a regular day job, I would have laughed.
• If someone had told me I'd go on a life changing journey of self-discovery, I would have laughed.
• If someone had told me I'd have a summer romance on the other side of the world like my mom and friends had told me I would, I would have laughed.
• If someone had told me that I would spend more time volunteering and running charity events than working in paid roles, I would have... no... actually... that I would have believed.

So when brainstorming what I wanted to do for my birthday this year, I decided that I wanted to do a bunch of random acts of kindness and invite others to join me. I told my Mom that I was going to do a 'Smile Corner' - get some friends, stand on the corners of an intersections holding big signs that say "Smile" or "Smile Please" or "It's My Birthday - Give Me A Smile" - and Mom just told me that I was a bit strange.

Later that day, Mom comes home and tells me that one of the girls who lives on our street was on the phone in her front yard (gotta love bad reception in the house at a time like this) in the middle of a very emotional breakup. She asked if I would make a sign that asked "Do You Need A Hug?" and go out and be there for the young lady. I rushed around to find a piece of paper and a texta, made the sign and ran outside. The girl had already gone back into her house. Sigh. Oh well - it is the thought that counts right?

Comparing the two situations made me curious though. Why would my mother find me wanting to make strangers in traffic smile strange, but know that I would happily leap to the hugging aid of a neighbour (whom I have never met) in distress? So I asked her - and she said its because hugging someone in need is intrinsically human, and making people smile is more superficial. On some level I agree with her, but it made me reflect on the kind of person I am.

I am the kind of person who lives to make others smile. Given the opportunity to have a more profound impact on someone than just making them smile, of course I would take it. I often do. But I also do not take the small stuff for granted. If all I can do for a person is put a smile on their face, however fleeting, then I am going to do it, because every smile counts.

Stop for a moment.

Reflect.

What is your personal truth?

What kind of person are you?

If you like the answer you give yourself, then embrace it.

If you don't, then change it.

If you cannot answer it for yourself, then ask someone else.

What kind of person are you?

Take A Walk Down Memory Lane

Those who know me personally, know what a photo-taking freak I am. I document my life like there is no tomorrow. A close friend and I once took 7,000 photos during a 12-day trip to Thailand. Our record would be 1,200 on an overnight stay at Yosemite National Park.

There are a few probable reasons behind my photographic addiction. I have a lot of happy or funny moments and I like to share them with other people. If one day when I am old and have dimentia, I would like for these photos to be available to fill in the gaps. Mostly, I just like being able to flick through photos from years gone by and reflect on the great adventures I have had, and the wonderful people that shared the journey with me.

Now is the time to trawl through your photos.

Journey back in time,

through your treasure trove of memories.

Look deeply into the important images.

Lose yourself in them:

recall those who have made the journey with you.

Savour them.

Learn from them. 

So take a quick trip (or a long one if time allows) down memory lane. Smile at the moments you've captured. Laugh at the memories you've triggered. Then share them with someone else who might enjoy them. Below is one of the random photos I just came across from December 2009.

My friend Mat and I were so far ahead of the competition in Lawn Bowls that we decided to give the others a chance to catch up. So everytime I took a turn, Mat covered my eyes and I bowled blind. When Mat bowled, he gave me a piggy back so I could cover his eyes, and he too bowled blind. Funnily enough, the photo below was of the shot that one the tournament! Makes me smile everytime I see it. I just sent a copy to Mat so that he can remember the fun we had that night!

So go down memory lane, and take a friend on the journey with you! Enjoy!

A Hug For The Record Books

British rail passengers are renowned for their indifference towards fellow commuters.

But that didn't stop 112 people, many of them total strangers, to set aside their usual cultural reserve towards fellow passengers at St Pancras station in central London as they set the Guinness Book of World Records record for the most people hugging for 60 seconds.

When I read an old article about this record, I thought to myself - I could easily break that record at any major Rotaract event. Heck - we had a 300+ person group hug at the Cultural Night at the Asia-Pacific Regional Rotaract Conference that I held in Sydney last year.

So I did a bit of research to see if that record still stood...

The city of Alba Iulia sits in the heartland of Transylvania. In the centre of the city there is a walled citadel, a former fortress with seven bastions in a stellar shape as you can see in the picture below.

In a story written by Guinness World Records Adjudicator Paul Kenny, he noted that what was clearest was the very deep and abiding pride that the local residents had in their city which is why, on May 29, nearly 10,000 citizens of Alba Iulia and its surrounding townships gathered in a circle stretching over 3.4 km (2.1 miles) and literally embraced their city. It was the largest group hug ever recorded by Guinness World Records.

The execution was flawless: weeks of advance television promoting the event; a white line painted on the ground around the outside of the walled area; hundreds of volunteer marshalls shepherding the arriving people into sections around the outside of the walls, and feeding their numbers back to a centralized counting station. Even the President of Romania, Traian Băsescu, took part among a mass of media and fans.

At the given signal, fireworks were sent into the air, the bells of the cathedral were rung, and Mr Kenny was on his bicycle to ride a lap around the citadel, ensuring that everyone was in formation and the hug was complete. So many people – young kids, high-school students, elderly folk, a group of policemen – in a circle nearly 3.5 km long all standing proud in support of their home.

The largest group hug was a symbol of something very special – home, pride, national identity, call it what you will – and the Guiness World Records judge said it was as moving and as wonderful an event as he had ever been part of.  

10,000 people hugging at once... now that is what I call a good day!!!

Appreciate Greatness

In Australia, we have a thing against flowers. In particular, poppy flowers. Especially, tall poppy flowers.

Tall poppy syndrome is a social phenomenon in which people of genuine merit are resented, attacked, cut down, or criticised because their talents or achievements elevate them above or distinguish them from their peers. Which is so wrong, I don't know where to begin, but here goes...

Now is the time to appreciate greatness.

Some people deserve our admiration.

Too often we deny it to them

because of jealousy or cynicism.

Give respect and admiration where it is due.

Men like Nelson Mandela and women

like Mother Teresa epitomise greatness.

Acknowledging their greatness does them,

and us, credit.

Now whilst we don't all know people of the same acclaim as Mandela or Mother Teresa, in our own worlds, and on our own scales of awesomeness, we all know great people. People who inspire us to do more with our lives. People who show us what humans are truly capable of. People who change the world for the better.

Do not waste time being jealous, spend a moment telling them they inspire you, and then do something with that inspiration. You never know - but your words might just make their day, or help them through a tough time, or reinvigorate them to keep on keeping on.

A fellow Rotaractor (who I  see as a shining example of greatness in my generation) wrote me a thirteen word message of encouragement the other day. It was simple. To the point. It totally made my day. It reminded me why I dedicate so much of my time to Splash for Cash and other Rotaract projects. When I see her in 48 hours I am going to hug and thank her.

So go do it - right now - send an email, or a Facebook post, or an SMS or do it face to face - tell someone you consider great just how great they are, and let them inspire you to your own personal greatness.

'No sadder proof can be given by a man of his own littleness
than disbelief in great men."

Thomas Carlyle

Addiction... Not Always A Dirty Word!

ad·dic·tion [uh-dik-shuhn]

noun

the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

I'm just going to throw it out there, that contrary to popular belief, many addictions can actually be very healthy. Surprised? Shocked?

They can definitely be healthy when you take a broader view of addictions like I do. I sometimes start a speech by warning everyone in the room that I am about to make a public confession - I'm a woman with an addiction. I can't stop, and I don't want to stop, because I'm a smile-aholic/hug-aholic/enthusiasm-aholic/<insert other appropriately positive addiction here-aholic>.

Everyone I know has both good and bad addictions, and at this very moment, I would like to challenge everyone to kick at least one bad addiction out of their lives and to put in place at least one new good one.

I'll give you examples from my own experiences. Remember not to judge. What is good or bad is in the eye of the beholder, and though I am often referred to as superwoman, I am also a living, breathing human with many foibles, and I am about to give you a window into several of them!

ADDICTIONS I AM WORKING ON KICKING

• Procrastination (Am culling back my use of Facebook)
• Being the Queen of Mess (I have already successfully deep-cleaned my room last month, but I don't consider the addiction completely broken yet. I still have more habits to break before I can declare myself cured.)
• Use of 'The Snooze Button' (Hitting the snooze button every three minutes for 30+ minutes is simply ridiculous)
• Some slightly OCD habits (I can only microwave things in time increments that are multiples of 21, I always use my towel with my name embroidered on it with my name facing away from me and to the right, when going to sleep I start on my back, then roll to my right side, then left side, then onto my stomach, then curl up with my left arm dangling off the bed before I can doze off, and many more absurdities)

ADDICTIONS I HAVE ALREADY BEATEN

• Computer card game FreeCell (1500 wins in a row means it was time to stop playing)
• Slurpees (other people have coffee or caffeine addictions, I had Slurpee issues!)
• Facebook game Bejewelled Blitz (widely known as the cause of a year of insomnia)
• Insomnia (alot of my issues with getting to sleep were self-inflicted - I perpetuated the problem constantly for years and years)

GREAT ADDICTIONS I CULTIVATE

(and would be thoroughly traumatising without them in my life)

• Smiling (my goal in life is to make the whole world smile)
• Hugging (my brother would describe this as a bad addiction though)
• Helping people grow (nothing feels better than assisting someone to step up to a new challenge)
• Laughing (if you cannot find humour in your everyday life, just give up now)
• Rotaract (love having an outlet for making a difference in the world)
• LIFE - the best addiction of all! I have a never ending passion for wanting more out of my life.

So take a moment to reflect on your addictions - good, bad and ugly - and see what changes you might like to make. Feel free to share your addictions by posting a comment below. Admitting these things to yourself outloud (or in a written online forum) is the first step to instigating the changes you want.

In the very least, my suggestion - get addicted to life - it is marvellous!

Don't Love It? Then Don't Live It!

I was re-reading a favourite little trinket of a book 'Words Are Not Things' this morning. This whole little book is full of random food for thought concepts. Like the text on the back cover which is upside down says "The back cover can pretend to be the front cover if you print it upside down". Truly random thoughts fill every page of the book, but one particular page jumped out at me today.

If there is a part of your life you don't want, don't live it

I think the reason this line grabbed me was because I am currently busy shaking up my life. All who know me, know I am a happy person by nature. However, in recent months I had come to realise that my general happiness with the status quo that is my everyday life, was allowing me to become complacent. I was content with life in general, and I allowed this feeling to dominate my thoughts.

Now I'm not saying there is anything wrong with being happy and content. Quite the opposite actually. I firmly believe that people should be generally happy with their lot in life. We should make the best of what is thrown our way. It seems to me though, that I am not the only one who allows 'feeling good about life' to prevent them from making changes to improve the parts of their life they don't like.

I figured it was time to step up and admit to myself what things in my life I wasn't happy with. Once done, I made an action plan to affect change in these areas. Last month I worked on decluttering my life and finally got on top of my messy habits. Now my key focus is on improving my fitness levels as I work towards swimming 22 kilometres (approximately 14 miles) at the Splash for Cash swimathon next year to raise thousands of dollars for the Royal Institute for Deaf and Blind Children.

I have a list of other things my life that are okay, but not great, and an action plan on how I am going to change them for the better. I am stoutly refusing to live the parts of my life that I am not content with and that are anything less than the greatness I am capable of.

I believe every person is capable of greatness. The definition of what constitutes greatness will vary from person to person, but just the same, I would love to live in a world where every person strives to discover their own personal greatness; a world where we stop accepting the status quo in our lives and start chasing after the lives we truly want.

Stop waiting for it to happen... go MAKE it happen!

Time Is Money... So Spend It Wisely

I went to the cinemas last night to see the new Justin Timberlake / Amanda Seyfried movie "In Time" - and I found the movie fascinating!

The basic premise of the movie, is a future where people stop aging at 25, but are engineered to live only one more year beyond that - and the currency of society is time. They 'earn' additional time through hard work or thievery, and 'spend' their minutes or hours on purchases like coffee, cars, rent etc.

The notion of time is money is not a new one, but this movie explores that notion in a literal sense. The ghetto was filled with people who were time-poor and living from day to day, not game to waste a minute, living life in the fast-lane. The upper class have centuries to live, but they take life at such a slow and leisurely pace that they never really live a day in their life.

The concept is not really that far off reality. So many of us take time for granted. We act like we've got time to burn. True the vast majority of us are going to live well beyond the 25 years of age that many died at in the movie, but the harsh reality of life is that we don't know which day is going to be our last. As anyone who has lost someone they love to illness or accident long before old-age took hold can attest, you should always cherish today.

Yesterday is a cancelled check; tomorrow is a promissory note; today is the only cash you have - so spend it wisely.

Life is a great and wondrous mystery, and the only thing we know that we have for sure is what is right here right now. So don't miss it. Don't waste it. Get out there and make the most of it!

If You Were Waiting For A Sign...

Ever put something important off?

Ever put something not so important but still necessary off?

It is a dirty word in my house, but procrastination can be a silent killer.

It is rare for procrastination to lead to a loss of life, but it is quite common for procrastination to lead to the death of a dream. People are always 'waiting for the right time', 'I'll be starting tomorrow', 'getting to it soon' or 'planning it out' - basically doing anything other than actively working towards their dream right now.

We are all guilty of it. We all put things off. Some of us more than others (you know who you are). So I ask you - what are you waiting for? Reflect on what it is you want from life, and take a small but meaningful step towards it.

Got dreams?

Then go for it already!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

One of the things that I love most about living in Australia is that it is a cultural melting pot - a mosaic of people from all walks of life. The council/county area I live in is one of the most diverse in the country. Over 184 different nations are represented in my council. I live in a gold mine of culture and I love it.

We live in a society that demands acceptance, understanding and respect for all people. In light of recent events, I have come to realise that acceptance, understanding and respect is not just needed between different races and cultures, but across people with different values and belief systems, between those with different upbringings, those with a less fortunate lifestyle and those with a more fortunate lifestyle than ourselves. Even if we don't truly comprehend what other people's experiences are like, we need to be less judgemental and more open minded.

Earlier this year, I had a great 'Greyhound Adventure' - catching a bus 4,000 kilometres (2,500 miles) across the United States from California to visit a Rotaract friend in Arkansas. To put it in perspective for the Aussies, this was light going from Sydney to Kalgoorlie but slightly longer!

I'll be honest, my mother was not particularly keen for me to go on the bus. She caught a Greyhound back in the 1970's and apparantly it was not a top quality experience for her. She said the stations were dirty and in the sleaziest parts of town, and the people were the same.

I brushed her concerns off, partly because I figured she was just being an overly protective mother and things can change a lot in 40 years - but mostly because I wasn't that concerned. I've had minor run ins with some interesting people over the years and I've never had any major dramas. I do not make decisions based on the fear that something bad might happen. If I did that, I'd never leave the house. The other part was I wanted to see some of the country, and the bus was what I could afford.

As all my Facebook friends can attest, I had quite the adventure on my 52 hour bus trip. At times it was like being in the middle of the Jerry Springer show. Relationships were breaking up over the phone and in person right in front of me. Catfights were breaking out and people got thrown off the bus. There were ex-cons, ex-marines, ex-homeless, backpackers, students, grandmas, young families - all kinds of people. It was an eye-opening experience, coming into contact with people unlike anyone I'd ever met before.

One of the people I shared my cross-country journey with that I will never forget was Patricia - a 30-year old mother of three (aged twelve, six and one). Now a three day bus trip is tricky enough without adding three young children into the mix.

I remember seeing Patricia asleep on a bench at the bus station in Phoenix while her kids ran amok. I'll be honest, in that moment, I made a snap judgement about her - I thought to myself what a horrible mother she must be leaving her children unsupervised in a strange city.

When I got on the bus, she sat next to me with her toddler, and the other kids sat on the other side of the aisle. The toddler handled travelling better than most, but after a few hours of watching poor Patricia struggle to get any sleep whilst keeping her children fed, entertained and quiet - I could see she needed help. I offered her my pillow so she could be more comfortable whilst snoozing with the toddler. As the hours rolled by, her story became apparant. She had just left her abusive ex-con husband in California and was fleeing across the country with her children to live with her grandparents that she hadn't seen since she was a child.

I had to rethink the snap judgement I had made back at the bus station. Here was a woman not that much older than me, exhausted physically and emotionally to the point of barely being able to function, yet she was still holding it together as best as could be expected and putting her children's needs before her own. For that, she deserved my respect and my understanding.

For the next 30 hours of our trip, I took turns watching the children so Patricia could get some sleep, I took kids to the bathroom, shopped for meals, found a cake (the 12-year old turned 13 on the bus!) and baby panadol (poor toddler was teething) and gave Patricia pep talks to help her mentally cope with the situation at hand. When we parted ways, she told me I was her guardian angel, and that she didn't know how she would have survived without me. I can't help but wonder what she would have thought if she'd known what my first impression of her was.

I may indeed have been her saviour on that bus trip from Los Angeles to Oklahoma City, but in turn, she taught me a very valuable lesson.

Who am I to judge a person based on my values and my experiences?

Who I am to judge a person before I know anything about their situation?

Who am I to judge at all?

I am no different than any one of my fellow human beings. We are all living life the best we know how. Patricia taught me the true value of understanding my fellow human, accepting their differences and respecting their choices and their values, and for that, I will always be grateful.

A Notion That Should Stop The Nation

Well here we are. Melbourne Cup Day.

A day when millions of people who normally do not care one little bit for horses, racing or betting stop and participate in an Australian tradition.

On a day where most of the nation stops to watch the Melbourne Cup, a lot of people are wishing/hoping/praying that they 'pick a winner'. What I'd like to suggest is that every one of you is capable of backing the REAL winner today... yourself.

I find it such a waste that people are willing to throw their money behind a horse, their opinions behind a political party, their support behind their friends, but are so unwilling to back themselves with a little faith when it counts.

Is there something that you want to take a stand on? A cause you want to champion? Something you want to do but never gave yourself the opportunity? Well I say this - place a bet on yourself and give yourself the chance to do something great! You'd be surprised what you are capable of!